So…after reading the chapter, I haven’t come away with so many emotions in while. And I just need to address that I love Toboso-sensei so much for this Lizzie centered chapter because it really showcased how complex she is.
Lizzie coming to terms with her feelings and realizing she may not have real love for RCiel was something I was not expecting. I think she’s grown from that childhood obsession to burgeoning adulthood. She can begin to separate truth and lies. And though she’s “shattered,” as it was put, I think sometimes people need that harsh realization before they can mend themselves and grow from it.
Believing she’s a terrible person for hoping RCiel would come back addressed that question that OCiel had in the beginning: Would people be disappointed it’s me? Apparently yes. But at least Lizzie owns up to it and doesn’t want to feel that way. She wants to grow so much and be a better person.
In parallel, her growth reminded me how Madam Red never realized her feelings for Vincent were a childhood obsession – not real love. Madam also wished Vincent had come back instead of Ciel. She never got over that part of her life and became part of what led to her downfall. But Lizzie’s capacity to understand what’s in front of her could save her and encourage that keen sense of her mother.
(Also, Edward addressing God about putting Lizzie through this gave me flashbacks to the manga’s beginning.)
All in all. I teared up at the end.
Predictions: Lizzie’s a badass and will be more so in later chapters. I hope she realizes she has feelings for OCiel and helps him – whether its romantic, or friendship. (I’m hoping familial friendship. I don’t want Lizzie going through more pain).
Additional thoughts on Kuroshitsuji chapter 144
As the character who has been most explicit in showing romantic affection, it must equally be the most shameful to her, that ironically she showed this very affection to the wrong person.
The main
theme to Lizzie as a person is her doubt regarding the truthfulness of her
love.
The parallel drawn between Lizzie and Madam Red was something that was particularly interesting to me, because where this current arc regarding Lizzie is headed towards shows the good
potential to a complex story about human relationships that most teenager-centred stories fail to. (How many are about star-crossed lovers, or initial dislike until suddenly hit by a hormone-lightning? Ugh…)
As stated by Yana-sensei herself in her old blog, as Vincent is a post-mortem character, she draws him differently depending on in whose memories he is being retold.
Speaking of papa, Ciel’s papa has made a brief appearance in the latest volume [Volume 9], and I have been trying my best to draw him differently depending on from whose memory he is being recollected. (Whether I succeeded or not I don’t know)
Madam → The kind-hearted man she wants to forget Ciel
→
The kind-hearted father Baron Kelvin
→
An evil man with deceptive gentle looks Tanaka
→
The Evil Nobleman Earl Phantomhive
So going back to Madam Red, we do indeed see in chapter 10, how she did not really remember Vincent for who he was, but rather who she wanted him to be in relation to herself.
Please notice how Vincent was never in full, clear view, or even in the centre of her memories. This tells us that the centre of Madam’s focus was her sister’s position as Vincent’s bride she had hoped to be.
In the end, even though she did not know who, Madam still blamed someone or something for her ill fate and is overcome with jealousy. The only person she did not blame, was herself.
This draws a very clear juxtaposition with Lizzie, who has primarily been blaming herself. Lizzie even loathed herself for so much as having thoughts of blaming Our!Ciel for the situation. That she is successfully deceived by Our!Ciel just meant that she failed the ‘true-love test’.
In chapter 144, Lizzie is still too overcome with self-loath to consider the situation from outside her own perspective (and given that she is 15, it is not so weird!). But once she has sorted out her own feelings, she might start to consider Our!Ciel’s side of the story.
Perhaps a stretch, but the final page of chapter 144 is already pretty good a lead-up towards Lizzie comparing herself to Our!Ciel and therewith perhaps consider his perspective too, after all.
The relation between Lizzie and Our!Ciel might end up being them sharing something ‘fake’; but sharing a secret is quite intimate and does not have to be a bad ingredient for a close bond.
In contrast to Madam Red, Lizzie has a much fuller grasp of who Our!Ciel is (despite ironically not having known who he was).
So, all in all, though it might be twisted, I really am looking forward to a
very twisted, distorted relationship (romantic or otherwise) that Lizzie and Our!Ciell will
have to rebuild.
Please! Give me this any time, please. Enough with star-crossed lovers, tsundere-relationships or obsessive abuse euphemistically called romantic jealousy!
midnight-in-town 